Love Advice: Most Women Don't Want A Fling

If you are a guy, dating someone for a fling instead of a relationship can be appealing. Did you know, however, that most single women do not want a fling? Most of them want a committed relationship. They are looking for a life partner for a permament, lasting relationship.

If you are also looking for a committed relationship but are confused about the conflicting messages you receive from dating partners, read on.

There are questions you can ask and signs that you can look for that will tell you if someone wants a fling or is serious about love.

What are the questions you should ask?

Very early in the dating relationship, you need to ask the person what they want and how they envision their life in the future. Most people will tell you the truth. If someone says they aren't ready for a committed relationship, believe them. If they tell you they have had multiple marriages or partners, ask what kind of personal growth venues they have sought in order to understand their behavior and patterns.

What if you meet someone on the Internet?

Lots of great people have met each other on the Internet. However, without knowing the history of someone, and without knowing their friends and family, you need a certain length of time before you really understand them. Take a year to see them with their close acquaintances and family, and go through the holidays to get a clear picture of who they are. Along with that information, ask the person about their dating and relationship history.

What are some of the warning signs that someone has no intention of ever being committed?

Unfounded jealousy is often a sign that they are doing something that they are not proud of. Other signs are, if someone does not want to take you to meet their friends and family; if they do not want to talk about their work; if they are always late; and if they can't give you a commitment about what you will be doing next week.

No one is perfect nor is anyone expected to be. But how your potential love interest responds to your questions; what they do with their life; and what values they live by, speak loudly to the commitment issue.

It is important that you understand and believe that you deserve a commitment if you want one. People who are in committed relationships are in them because they insisted upon it. They were not willing to drift along, accepting less than what they wanted to give and have.

Meeting the love of your life takes work. Don't give up. Someone is waiting for you. And--you don't have to settle for a fling.

For more advice on love, relationships and dating from master single's coach Tonja Weimer, subscribe to our Free Savvy Dating Newsletter.